Weird things

Here are some weird things that I've seen or have had happen to me recently.

I saw a man running the other day, with a portable headset on. Ya know the kind that are just headphones and are a radio? He had a huge peice of tinfoil coiled around his head and sticking straight up for better reception or to communicate with his home planet.Oh, and he was wearing a yellow speedo.

A man came into the store and he was wearing khaki colored shorts. He turned around and had a HUGE brown stain right in the...uh...body waste part of his shorts.

I met a guy at the bar, and things were going well, UNTIL he told me that he was a slob and a pig and he had to change bedrooms because the one room was so dirty he couldn't get into it anymore. Check please.

Some guy sent me a picture of his nether region, and I have no idea who it is.

I saved the best for last. I invited another guy over and while I was trying to open a bottle of wine, the corkscrew broke. I tried using a knife to open it, and the gentleman that he was, stepped up to help me. He promptly sliced his finger open and required stiches.

Coming soon: Pictures

I realized today...

...that I have absolutley no hope in love or relationships any more. I mean, some relationships and love do work for some people. I use to believe in happily ever after and that love can cure anything. That no matter what happens in a relationship, if you have love, it's the glue that keeps it together.

I'm really sad that I don't have the same outlook on relationships as I use to. I'm thinking this could be why I don't pursue the options that I have. I think why bother, I'm just either going to get hurt or hurt them in the long run.

Any ideas on how to rid myself of such rotten thoughts so I can try to find my prince charming?

Happy Birthday Fritz!!

 

Singledom

Ok, I'm really seriously starting to look for a man. So I joined a free dating website that was referred to me by a friend. Since I put up my ad this morning, I've gotten like 8 hits or so. The problem is, the kind of guys that are replying are 1. the kind of guys that will never move out of their Mom's basements, 2. have some kind of odd fettish. One guy told me he wanted to lick and smell my feet. eww. 3. Aren't from the area, or 4. are not the kind of guys I'd be interested in because they just want sexual relationships.

So, here it is my friends and family. IF you know someone who might be fun or who likes cute, heavier set blonde, independent women, tell them about me.

I'm really ready to share my life with someone. Being sucessful is no fun unless you have someone to share it with.

My happy little home

These are pictrues of my livingroom, and kitchen, as well as a horrible picture of the hallway as you enter the duplex. As ou can see, I need more stuff in the livingroom. I'm working on it :)
I also didn't take pictures of the bedrooms, or the deck. I have to keep you coming back..so keep checking. 

Time for dinner

The blue wall will be painted green. It will go much better with everything I have.

 

Welcome to my new home!!

Here is the picture of my new place..from the outside. 

My Batty Day

I came home to this awaiting on my door. I thought..what is that banana peel doing on my door? Then I look a little harder, and it moved. It looked at me like it wanted to eat me.I SCREAMED! I had NO idea how the hell I was going to get into my house! Then I remembered I had a garage. So I run into the garage and call my Dad. I had to leave a message which gives me a lot of time to think about how this bat is going to break free and get into my house and land in my hair, bite me and turn me into a vampire. Hysteria turns into plans. So I take the broom (with the advice from a friend) and hit door (from the inside) to knock it free. It didn't work. Finally my Dad shows up to free the damn thing. He kept saying, the poor baby. I thought he meant me. He didn't. He meant that scary old bat that tried to attack me. So my Forman killing Dad saved my life. Thanks Dad. You're the best, for an old bat..hardy har har 

The last George Forman

This picture is an example of what happens when you listen to your father. Let me tell you a story about my wonderful rottendad and how he helped me move. First let me say, I was very glad for his help and wasn't mad about it. So..here goes..
When I was moving my stuff out of my storage unit, Dad said that I didn't need to take my 'puddle jumper' (car) because it could only fit three things in it. (remember that part) The day before was HELL because they had locked my storage unit on accident and I was irate, so Iwas prepared to be mad when I got there. However, I wasn't. We were able to get everything in the van except...yep you got it...3 things (that puddle jumper would have come in handy then huh?) so my wise father decided that we put the last 3 boxes on top of the van. Now, one of the boxes contains my prized coffee pot and the above beloved George Forman grill. Well, we got almost halfway home and BAM..the jokes of the Forman grill and my coffee pot flying off the back of the van became the story of the week. The coffee pot doesn't look as good, but it leaks and I have to put a spoon under it so the coffee comes out. So....here is the picture. Enjoy.
And Dad, I really wasn't mad. I still think it's funny. Besides, I'd know you'd hate it if I was snooty..and having a coffee pot with some charcter means that I won't be snooty :)