Why is it?
Why is it that your life has to be defined on who you married or what your kids are doing? Why can't it be judged on what I'm feeling, or what I'm doing? Why does it seem like everytime I meet someone or see someone I knew from long ago, the first questions are, are you married? how many kids do you have? Why does my life have to be gaged based on what they've done?
I guess it just hits a sore subject. I want those things, but don't think my life should be judged as a failure becuase I'm not married and haven't managed to pop out a kid or two. Because I'm not gay I should have some excuse, like I've been locked up for a 10 years and just haven't tried. It's not a lack of trying, it's a lack of loser men who I keep choosing. When God is ready for me to have someone, then that will happen, but not until then. So until then..shut up..don't make me feel worse. Think about everything you have and how much it means to you, then imagine in all being gone. That's a day in my shoes. So, shut up, really think about you're saying and how it might effect the person you're saying it to.
posted by shortensweet at Thursday, January 12, 2006
6 Comments:
Here's good news for you: the reason people ask who you married and how many kids you have is because they never DID ANYTHING with their life worth talking about that they can be proud of, so the only bragging rights they have is their biological accidents.
As much as you long for children and family, that is how rewarding it will be for you when it happens. But realize that every strapped-down, married person with kids wishes in some little (or big!) place in their heart that they could trade places with you, longing for another chance to do the things they didn't take the time for, like traveling (while still young enough to enjoy it), partying up the single lifestyle, going to college or whatever. Being unencumbered with a significant other and kids makes you FREE, Jamie, and that's a place many of us long to be. Use it. Take advantage of it. Build things into your life that will make you happy, improve your lifestyle and make your singlehood worthwhile. Then you can enjoy your family all that much more when it happens (NOT IF!!!)
Love you, sista. Keep fighting. I know you are in a rough transition, but believe me, this too shall pass. And life will be fun again. Just don't let your opportunities pass you by! Or I will have to hurt you!
10:05 AM
Your sister is right!!! Us married folk in a small way look back and wished we had done things a little different. I love Brian and the kids. At times(when they're being little imps} I think of the life I could have had. I long to be able to pick up and go no packing the kids up or finding a sitter.
I'm sure when Mr. Wonderful comes along you will be ready! It will be the right time and place. In the mean time you're loved by many so you are never alone.
8:07 AM
Thanks Roo..I need to be reminded of that sometimes.
5:02 PM
What do you mean, "Thanks Roo" ?!?! Did I not say it first? Hellow...as if my love isn't enough to sustain any lonely spinster. You need help, sister.
(insert smug giggles here)
1:42 PM
The reason people ask is because after you haven't seen someone for a long time, and they were single when you last saw them, it's an obvious point at which to begin a dialogue. But I do hear whatchu are saying.
2:11 AM
OK guys, from now on approach her with "whats' yer sign?"
I find that being single makes me more interesting, I have the freedom to do what I want and I am not restrained by a scowling wife who thinks she needs to "train" me like a circus elephant. Asking questions about the person is always a good ice breaker, it makes the person feel you are genuinly interested in them and want to know more about them, don't feel like you are being identified by your marital status, its just a guys clumbsy way of finding out if your available and to break the ice.
--Yoobee
8:05 AM
Post a Comment
<< Home